rockets vs. clippers......december 17, 2005:

okay, so this post is two weeks late. hey....im a very busy man you know. eh...not really, just lazy. but really, only three people actually read this thing, so i don't think im disappointing anyone.

anyway, this game was pretty close in the beginning, but the clippers pulled away in the end. of course this game was two weeks ago and the clippers have lost 3 of 4 since then, but lets pretend the clippers are going to go on a hot streak.....















since this was a twelve o'clock game, joe and i arrived a little late....















my dad was supposed to go to this game, but he had to work. i told him to call in sick, but he decided to be all responsible instead. i told him just to quit...that's how joe and i do it when we want a day off to go to the mall or go to the batting cages or just to have a longer lunch. oh well....his loss.

getting back to us being late....we get there and we accidently sit in the wrong seats. the seats we sit in are one row behind our actual seats. i think we sit there for ten minutes, before this chick and her friend comes storming down towards us. they approach us and the asian chick says in a very bitchy tone, "uh...you're in our seats." we look at our tickets and see that's she's right. as the gentlemen joe and i are, we get up and move. when we move to our seats, we turn around and we see her and her friend sitting in the seats near the aisle. they don't even sit in their seats!!!! what the fuck???!!!!

so i guess she just likes being a bitch. i guess if she were hot, i wouldn't of said anything. but she's ugly, so she can kiss my black ass! i tried to take a picture of her, to show you guys what she looked like, but i couldn't get a good picture. here is a picture that sort of looks like that bitch.....




















okay, maybe not that ugly, but its pretty close....

this game really didn't have too many highlights to report, but i did come up with a new honor i will bestow upon a lucky person at each game i attend in the future.....douche bag of the game!















this douche bag decided to wear laker gear to a rockets clipper game. he was all decked out. i hate that!!!!! with a PASSION...hehe. seriously, you're at a clipper game. you just don't do that. its like dressing up like darth vader and going to watch lord of the rings! it just doesn't make any sense. i guess it just bugged me cause this guy was a dork and he thought he was all cool. i wish i had a picture of his face or a video of him walking. i wanted to punch him in the back of the head. no, just drop-kick him in the face. hmmmm....maybe im over-reacting??? me??? over-reacting????? ask joe, he'll agree with me. im never wrong....ever!!!!! except when im not right....then im wrong of course.

that's pretty much for this game. i know you guys had to wait two weeks for this post, but it was soooooo worth it right? don't worry, i guarantee my next post will be a lot better....i hope. my next game is with brad against the kings and they suck. the clippers should blow them out by at least 50 right? yeah.....not so much. but how would i know? the game is like two weeks away, but i just have a feeling the clippers might lose. im thinking the clippers might lose 110-93 or something like that. just a wild guess. let's see if im right. until next time.......

suns vs. clippers......december 10, 2005:

hmmm....i wonder who won the game?????















boo ya kah!!!!! the clippers are now 13-5 and have sole possession of first place. those words will never be uttered again in the same sentence for at least another 12 years. i am so glad i bought season tickets this year, as opposed to the first time i bought season tickets. yeah, that year the clippers decided to be bitches and suck. i think the clippers finished with their typical 27-55 record. shit...i should have just gambled my money away then.

hmmm......let me get this straight. i bought clipper season tickets the same year the angels won the world series. so i pretty much passed up watching the angels win their first world series to watch the clippers sucks. as joe would say...."mama didn't raise no fool!"

tonight's guest for the game.....















this was little corrina's first nba game. well, as you can see, she's not ten and she's not so little anymore. anyway, before the game started, we agreed that if the clippers lost, it would be her fault and she would not be allowed to any more games. fortunately for her, the clips were clutch and easily won the game. so i guess she did her part, so she's earned the right to attend future games. of course that is contingent on her swearing off the lakers forever....just saying.

as a newbie...i was very impressed with how quickly she picked up the nuances of the game.

let's recap what she learned:

-elton brand plays for the clippers
-the purple team are the phoenix suns
-a player is allowed six personal fouls, before he gets kicked out of the game
-what the difference is between a blocking foul and a charge

this is what i learned at the game:

-this girl eats a lot of candy
-this girl loves suger
-you can't go wrong with buying her a bag of sugar for christmas

i kid corrina...i had a lot of fun and thanks for going to the game with me.

after the clipper game was over, they had a special celebrity basketball game. it was soooooo good. i was so disappointed though...michael rappaport was supposed to play!!!! i don't know what happened, but if you watched the past rock 'n jock basketball games, you would understand why i was disappointed i didn't get to see him play. he's the michael jordan of rock 'n jock basketball. oh wait, did i say michael jordan? i really meant mark madsen....dancing.




















yes, michael rappaport is that good.....

on another side note, 'rice 'n beans' the coed softball team i play with, won our championship game sunday. we are now back-to-back-to-back champions! i think the coed softball world can pretty much consider us a dynasty now. are we greater than the 49er's of the 80's or the cowboys of the 90's or even usc over the past few years? i think that will be up for discussion on the 'dan patrick show' tomorrow. yeah...not so much.

anyway, i just wanted to give my teammates props. they're good and i just happen to be on the team. im the will purdue on the team. i play, but i don't need to do anything. just let the big boys do their job and dont screw anything up. i can't wait to come back next year to defend our title. you know how pat riley trademarked "three-peat"....i think im going to trademark "do something thats never been done be-four-peat!" nevermind...that was just horrible.















i guess that's it for my sports weekend. oh wait....the houston rockets are coming to town next saturday and i think santa is coming the week after. so remember to come back for my next review you hear?????!!!!!

heat vs. clippers.....december 05, 2005:

just another clipper victory....















yes people, my clippers are now 12-5. who would have thunk that? not me. shit, i don't even think the clipper players did themselves. of course they would never admit it....

so the game started with everette harp's rendition of our national anthem....















he did a great job, but isn't it weird, he's playing a saxamaphone. his name is harp, yet he's playing a saxamaphone. see what i did with that????? i was waiting all night to use that. yeah...im a douche.

joe didn't think it was that funny either.....















joe was my guest for tonight's game. i think we had a good time. we especially enjoyed the aroma of the bastard in front of us. i guess showering isn't a common thing practiced among all human beings. wtf....i've been to three games so far and this guy has been there too. i guess i get to smell him for the rest of the season. oh happy day!!!!!!!

the game started off on the wrong foot. at one point the clippers were down 17-5. of course the clippers rallied and at the 10 minute mark in the second quarter take a 29-28 lead. they keep the game close the rest of the way, until they pull away in the fourth to win 99-89. the clippers i used to know, would have built the big lead and then proceed to blow the lead and then lose in OT. i don't want to jinx them, but i think we're going to the playoffs baby!

on a side note, don't you hate when fans say "we're" going to the playoffs or "we" played so bad? dood, we didn't play. we're not good. that's why we pay money to see the players play. of course saying that, i did it in the above paragraph.

anyway, we also saw someone make a half-court shot to win a car....















after winning the car, he proceeded to eat the ball. what????? im kidding....

finally, on our way out of the staples center, joe and i decided to say goodbye to my season ticket sales rep....
















her name is sachi and shes totally awesome. she's awesome cause she laughs at my jokes. anyone who laughs at my jokes, is okay in my book.

so i guess this is my first clipper game recap. i know it's no "trapped in the closet" but i tried my best. its 2 a.m and i need to get up early. damn this blog stuff is addicting! check back this saturday for my next post....seacrest out!

ucla vs. usc....december 03, 2005:

i wonder if ucla was able to pull off the upset?????

oh wait, here's the score.....















in case you couldn't tell what was on the above scoreboard, the final score was USC 66 and UCLA 19.....a nail biter!

yes, the game was played at the coliseum and yes, it is a giant piece of shit! i've been to my share of sports venues, but the coliseum definitely wins hands down for the crappiest stadium with the nicest new bathrooms. okay.....let me get this straight. they've spent millions on renovations, yet the seats are all old, the stadium looks like it will collapse soon, sections are missing seats, but they have brand new bathrooms???!!!! and we couldn't lure an nfl team to los angeles with this beautiful architectural masterpiece? go figure.

so the day started off really well. i go to the post office to pick up my tickets and guess what....it's not open on saturdays. so i started pounding on the glass window and a lady comes out. luckily she was a nice asian lady, so she went and found my tickets. i didn't have time to get a happy ending, but i still left satisfied.

brad and i get to usc around 10 a.m. and we walk around and take a couple gay pictures....




















while brad and i are walking around, we realized neither one of us went to usc. are we turd sandwiches for cheering for a school we didn't go to? then we came up with a simple answer: both of our schools don't have football programs. problem solved....go usc!




















so taking these pictures killed almost 15 minutes. good thing the game started at 1:30, so we had to think of something to do. i brought a football, so we ventured over to the practice field to throw the ball around.

here is what we learned:

-brad and i can throw the ball 40 and 35 yards respectively
-brad is great at catching the tippy-toe sideline pass
-i'm not a very good punter
-lastly, don't wear a thick jacket, hoody, and scarf when you decide to throw the ball around

we get hungry, so we head over to wendy's for lunch. that's when we encountered some giant douche bags that deserved an ass beating. not by us of course, cause it was just two of us and there were four of them. haha....anyway, they come in all loud and obnoxious. "huhuh...dude, we're so out of place." no shit you're out of place. you come in wearing ucla gear and you're loud and you're a bunch of homos. of course everyone is going to notice you....attention whores! that there alone is enough to justify (like j timberlake) my hatred for ucla.

finally the game started and it is hot as hell. good thing we're facing directly into the sun....















on usc's first drive of the game ucla holds usc to a field goal. its great seeing the hope on the faces of the ucla fans. they actually think they can pull off the upset! it's great! on usc's ensuing drive, they go 80 yards and score a touchdown. that was pretty much the game as usc went on to score 56 more points to win 66-19. i wish i would have taken a picture of the ucla fans after the last score.....it was priceless! oh well, ill always have it photographed in my mind.....click.

the game is obviously over by the fourth, so brad and i sneek down onto the field to look for oj. you know, to help him with his cause: to search for nicole and ron goldman's killer. Unfortunately, we only meet marcus allen and kirk herbstreit. who is kirk herbstreit you ask.....















he is a member of espn's gameday crew and he's dreamy. seriously, im straight, but he's a good looking guy. ahhhh....i wish i were handsome like him. wait, maybe i shouldn't have said that. disregard everything i just said. nevermind....too late.

oh yeah, thanks again kirk for the texas a&m pick....ass!

i would have to say, saturday turned out to be a very good day.

let's recap:

-usc won
-i actually got my tickets
-saw ucla fans suffer
-ucla students are still giant turds
-played some football
-clippers beat the cavs
-saw my nephew and niece

okay, i hope people will actually read this. until the next game....peace out!