jack bauer or wolverine.......

you know how every couple has a list that allows you to sleep with that one superstar if you ever had the chance to? well, i guess jen also has allowed me one man-crush, to go along with that list. you know, where its okay for me to get butterflies in my stomach when i see him and i wont be considered gay?

well, up until a month ago, that man-crush solely belonged to this man.......




















yes folks.....JACK BAUER! who else can fake his own death, kill people just because, and fly a commercial airplane? that's right.....only one man, jack! in case you dont see why hes my man-crush, here are 50 other reasons why....

1. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win forever.
2. Every mathmatical inequality officially ends with " Jack Bauer"
3. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and hehad a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
4. If you wake up in the morning, it is because Jack Bauer spared yourlife.
5. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killedSutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
6. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
7. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
8. Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove Lance Armstrongit wasn't a big deal. He also thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
9. Superman wears Jack Bauer underwear.
10. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the nexthalf-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
11. What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does notbleed.
12. Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of himfinding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
13. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious rightnow is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
14. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle-Eastern men.
15. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fairfight.
16. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and won.
17. Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one foolsJack Bauer.
18. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he wasshooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
19. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.
20. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at supermanfor having a weakness.
21. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
22. Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made himblink.
23. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that IS a realfact.
24. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His secondfavorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
25. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
26. Jack Bauer once double teamed someone...by himself.
27. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
28. Jack Bauer would vote for Hillary Clinton for president just so hecould assassinate her.
29. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
30. When Jack Bauer watches a pot, it boils immediately.
31. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30am.
32. When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
33. In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
34. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of thebus.
35. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
36. Jack Bauer can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.
37. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.
38. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
39. Every day is the longest day of Jack Bauer's life. For terrorists, theshortest.
40. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
41. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIAMost Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloadedthe movie Dodgeball.
42. If Jack Bauer and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack wouldmake a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
43. Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer. After fourminutes of interrogation, they admitted that Jack Bauer was God.
44. Jack Bauer rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.
45. Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they faveup the location of the egg.
46. Jack Bauer once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ballpoint pen. This lead to the phrase, "the pen is mighier than the sword."
47. Jack Bauer does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.
48. When the kids born in the twenty first century grow up, they will nothave heroes, but rather Jack Bauers. Jack Bauer is the only hero.
49. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was achild. Once.
50. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

i mean after reading this list, how could my feelings even wander you ask? well....after watching X-Men 3 last month, how could you not admire wolverine. just look at him.......














he fights with bed head and he had to kill the love of his life in order to save our lives. i almost cried, but it didnt involve a little black kid dying, so whew....i was able to hold it in.

jack is great and all, but wolverine has the ability to heal quickly and the cool blades that come out of his hands, unlike this turd.....













and he's not gay like this guy....




















or in love with his blades like this guy.....




















its just so hard. i dont know who i should choose. jack or wolverine? after thinking about this for the past two weeks, i know whom my heart belongs to....



damn christmas tree terrorists!!!! thank god for jack........